D. C. in December

Well, tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM I'm off to Washington, D. C. for the first time in 13 years. I'm attending a conference for work but am finishing out the week with Mike joining me and plan to sightsee for the last three days of our stay. Mike's never been there and there are a number of sights I didn't see before so we are really looking forward to it.

However, in order to be at the airport at 6:30, I have to get up at 4:30 and take a shower tonight so this will be very short. And of course, there's the Extreme Home Makeover I need to cram in while I'm packing too.

Though I've been working quite a bit today, I've listened to Christmas carols most of the time. I estimate it will only be another week or two before I get sick of them. It actually helps to have my CD player in the car broken because I can't listen to any of mine until I get a new one. Right now I'm listening to Darlene Love, who in the heck is that? OK, we just jumped to Louis Prima, good switch!

I completed my Christmas letter today too but upon comments made by a late reviewer (who also had a place of honor in the midst of the document), I had to make changes so new paper needs to be bought and they need to be printed again. That's okay though because I like it much better now. The lesson learned is to let her review it before I print in the future.

I hope I haven't forgotten too much in preparing for this trip. There is so much wierd stuff going on that I can't be sure. When we remodeled our home in 1993 in December, I swore I would never do anything again in December that would set me back in my Christmas preparations. Oh well! Never say never.

Don't worry, if I see "W", I won't give him your best (or mine for that matter).

TRADEESHUN Ccontinued

Well, I continued with my personal tranditions yesterday, elfing away throughout the day (that's what I call the fact of shopping for Christmas gifts then the process of wrapping). As part of the elfing process, you are required to get everything spread out around you (unlike the picture you see here) and watch only Christmas movies as you go. The tradition within a tradition for me is watching "The Bishop's Wife" with Loretta Young, Cary Grant and David Niven (or Naked Diven as my ex used to say) first. Once that was over, I watched "An Affair to Remember" (this one ends at Christmas, in case you don't remember) then finally "Love Actually" (it also pretty much ends at Christmas). Nice assortment, don't you think? I probably wrapped (including bags) about 30-40 gifts. It was very satisfying, especially since I actually am keeping a record of everything (I've tried to do that every year but continue to fall behind then give up). This year, so far so good.

I need to make this brief because I have lots of work to do and a few errands to run before I leave for D.C. on Monday. My interview is behind me, that's a good thing. I was extremely fortunate to get to meet with him in a cafe over breakfast, very relaxed and very casual. I'm quite certain the rest won't have that same opportunity. Sometimes things do work out. We should know something within the next couple of week. If I'm not selected, I'll be fine with that depending on who is selected. I have plenty to focus on in the interim.

After watching the violence and nasty crowds that permeated the holiday shopping kickoff yesterday, I wandered into it only briefly late morning, found what I needed and then came home. I'll be doing a great deal online, I'm very comfortable with that as long as I'm dealing with larger, reputable vendors. Someone was talking the other day about a smaller website being duplicated by a thief, then them siphoning off the money that was being submitted to purchase candy, with the owners never getting the orders or the money. Isn't it interesting that no matter what the medium, crooks are always able to crack the "code" and find a way to steal. I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on thievery being a disease? It seems like those who do it, stick to it, regardless of whether they spend time in prison or not. I'm not talking about the ones who are meth heads or under the influence of something else, I'm talking about those who steal for the thrill and/or challenge of it. How do we stop them? How do you prevent it from happening to you? Why do I sound like the headlines for 60 Minutes?

On another not so happy note, I visited the Battered Women's & Children's Shelter yesterday and the director I spoke with said they are packed to the gills with sexually as well as physically abused children especially and many of the women are hooked on meth. If the women go into treatment, Children's Services takes their kids away from them, so it's a fine line the shelter helps them walk to help them break the habit while helping them keep their kids. Don't get me started on the whole abortion thing or lack of free birth control. She specifially said that the meth "epidemic" has really hit them hard this year. I am committed to finding a way I can volunteer in some way to help there this next year. I need to do this.

OK, so much for keeping this short. I seriously doubt that I am able to keep anything short. You know the saying "to make a long story short", well, I typically make a short story long, another tendency I really need to change.

So, signing off until tomorrow. Go forth and prosper!

TRAHDEESHUN!

After all, that's what today was all about. One day a year where families and/or friends share a meal and realize how thankful they are for what they have and for each other. Or, from the other perspective, a day to stress over, preparing humoungus portions of food you never normally eat (EXCEPT AT THANKSGIVING). Afterwards, while half of the group sits around watching football/snoozing and the other half moans about how full they are meanwhile they are sneaking back out to the kitchen to grab another bite of turkey or dressing or pie.

We are a society of waste and excesses. Every year I say I'm going to do something humanitarian instead of the traditional food fest but somehow I never get around to it. I guess that says all you need to know about me, SELFISH! Or, there's just too much going on and this good intention just never gets done. Instead it gets carried over form year to year. One of these years I know I'll make myself proud and others less hungry. I'm good about doing for others at Christmas but I need to stretch that out to other holidays (and non-holidays for that matter). I do know this about myself, that's half the battle, right? The first step is admitting I'm a failure, okay, now I feel much better. I think writing this commitment down will actually make it happen. Maybe next year...

Well, I have three million things (or thereabouts) to get done for work in the next three days and I'm going on my interview tomorrow morning at 8:30 so I think I'd better get cracking. Short one this time, more next time. After my next three blogs, there will be a dearth of blogs from me for an entire week due to my D. C. destination. Then I'll be absolutely full of topics and will have to keep myself from writing novels and boring the socks of anyone (myself included). So, right now I feel like the kid who is asking for everything under the sun to keep from having to go to bed...ENOUGH! Ciao

Home for the Holidays...where else?

This move in any language has something for everyone, it's just too much fun. Yes, tonight we prepared ourselves for yet another Thanksgiving holiday by watching Jodie Foster's "Home for the Holidays" for the ummm, I don't know 14th or 15th time I guess. It is the ultimate in dysfunctional familial humor. Sometimes you'll be squirming, sometimes a tear might well up in your eye, but most of the time you'll be cracking up, even if you have seen it countless times before. You really should adopt it as your family tradition. After this, your Thanksgiving holiday will seem tame and normal. The rule is though, you can't watch it anytime during the year outside of Thanksgiving time, otherwise you'll really mess up your timing. You don't want to be putting up Christmas decorations in April or something silly like that.

Speaking of which, we saw our first Christmas tree lot tonight. Has anyone ever put a Christmas tree up on Thanksgiving and had it stay alive until Christmas. If they have, I want their secret because I can't usually keep mine alive for two blessed weeks. I've tried everything under the sun to keep them alive, I could write a book about all the harebrained schemes I've used to trick the tree into thinking it's still in the ground. Obviously in all cases, the trees have been smarter than me!

I'd like to know, was there anyone at work today besides me? OK, I know Kara was at work because I picked her up from there to have our toes done. It was absolutely impossible to reach anyone on the phone, why don't they just pronounce the last three days of this week holidays and call it good. We are officially moving into the non-productive time of year when there are more distractions around the office then there is concentration. The sweets start making their way in and staying on your healthy food regimen becomes more and more challenging. Which reminds me of how much I need to get done over the next four days (OK, admit that Thanksgiving Day won't be good for more than a half day). Yikes! I'm going to need lots of caffeine.

My cat is so needy, she keeps trying to crawl on my lap when the keyboard is there so if there are wierd misspelled words or big gaps between, it's not my fault. What is it with cats anyway, when you want them to come to you, they look at you like you have two heads. When you are busy and can't make over them, they are all over you. There must be some cat chemical that releases only when they sense stress or concentration. Crazy cats, they're just so darn fuzzy-faced and cute.

OK, this is going to be another random meandering brook of a thing. Sometimes I wonder how I walk a straight line because that certainly isn't how I think. Goldie Hawn used to play a character on Laugh-In whose brain functioned very similarly to mine...no one could keep up (I don't think anyone really tried, especially not the guy on the tricycle). I'm sure it's a disease and I just have yet to be diagnosed. It's probably called Attention Misplacement vs. Attention Deficit. Or maybe Mind Wandering Syndrome vs. Senility. I don't know, the problem is there is no cure, especially not if there is no such diagnosis. But that doesn't seem to prevent the condition. Hmm, maybe I should call it Goldie Hawn Half-Witted Wierdness, that sounds pretty technical. Uh oh, needy nellie is back hanging over my keyboard. She is such a cat.

I think she's telling me it's time for bed and you know what? She's right. Nighty night.

Beyond Comprehension

Do I even need to say anything here? How do you spell OJ? I spell it, G-U-I-L-T-Y, no doubt. Seeing what we just saw with Fox (just one more reason to be disgusted by all that they are) using their supremely poor judgement in planning to air such a horrendous show, the fact that he is still alive is a crime against humanity. That's enough, he's not worth anymore of my page.

So, here it is, Tuesday, November 21st and Christmas lights are springing up all over. Not only that, Christmas decorations and assorted, planted gifts have been overflowing in every store you see. NO ONE waited until after Thanksgiving. So, you know what this means, the guilt starts that much earlier because we have that much more time to shop but still don't get it done until the last minute.

OK, so what can I talk about that might be more uplifting? How about kid's Christmas lists? When I was little, my sister and I used to sit on the hassock behind my grandparents' woodstove and go through every single page of the Montgomery Ward and JC Penny's catalogs (we didn't like the Sears book as much) and put together our wish lists. And I mean we went through it page by page (except perhaps for the men's underwear, it may have fascinated us but it was basically boring so it was skipped). It took us hours while we totally blocked out whatever our grandparents were watching on tv, unless of course we heard an announcement that there were strawberry or root beer floats waiting in the next room. At that point, the catalogs would go flying and we'd claw, push and shove to be the first one out there to get the glass with the MOST in it. Of course, I'm sure Grammie made sure they were both exactly the same, it was all a perception thing. If I convinced Deb she got less, I won the contest simply by psyching her out. Who says I wasn't a mean big sister? Many times I was there by myself so I don't want you to worry, I wasn't mean every weekend.

I did have a very bad, bad habit of playing with her toys not mine, so if I broke them she would go without, not me. You could think of me as selfish and spoiled or you could think of me as a self-preservationist who always considered my options, always working to optimize my situation. No, I was bad, especially because I rarely admitted I was the one who broke it because my dad hit very, very hard.

Although, I got spanked so frequently you would have thought I would have built up calluses.
Not unlike those Maureen O'Hara probably got from Big John, Mr. Cancer himself. Oh well, it was still a funny movie. That mud scene is one of the best.

I was just talking tonight about another one of my favorite
movie scenes, it was from Princess Bride. It was the scene where
the 6-fingered man invites Prince Humperdink down into the torture
chamber to enjoy a little torturing of Wesley. The Prince says, "though he truly enjoys watching him work, he has wedding preparations to
make, his wife's murder to plan and the war with Guilder to consider, he's swamped." Every time I get stressed out with so many things to do (like right now) I think of that line and it brings a smile to my face.

There are actually countless quotable scenes from Princess Bride, that one just seems to be the most pertinent in the busy lives that we lead. I could keep pulling up more images to match "Mewige" or "Incontheivable" but it's late and I'm done. Yes, as in the turkey in the oven is done as opposed to finished. No, not the tofurkey, the turkey, Miss Grammar Grad!

Live happily ever after...and prosper

We miss you, Martin.

I just finished watching "Kramer's" shameful performance at The Laugh Factory in L.A. last Friday night. When do we ever get past this crap? Will there ever be a time when we don't fear or hate the fact that someone else has different warts on their face from us or stripes through their hair or polka dotted fingernails or whatever else? This is SUCH a '60's question and that is exactly my point, 40 years later, nothing has changed.

Not only that, this morning on NPR I heard that some Congressman is trying to restart the draft. There are bad ideas, then there are really bad ideas, then someone comes up with something like this, a COLOSSALLY, SUPREMELY STUPID IDEA! Then again, up until now, Iraq has only been somewhat like Vietnam, so this would indeed make it much more similar to the extent it's important that we make that happen. After all, we really need another monument in D.C. dedicated to all those who have died for absolutely nothing.

So, you really can't say this is a fun post but I needed to vent so you know what that means. I'll be finishing this up right about the time for John Stewart, which will continue to feed my frustration as he nails the idiocy that abounds these days.

So, let's take a quick turn here, a turn toward something fun or perhaps even funny. I pointed to this in the store tonight so I thought I'd read more about it. Actually, now that I've blown up the picture, I don't think I want to read anymore about it. It looks disgusting, regardless of how "good" it might taste. I wonder what the ratio of turkeys to tofurkeys really is. My guess is it's something like 100,000:1. Or, possibly higher (on the turkey side, of course). Please don't ever make me taste one of these. In fact, I don't even want to think about it anymore. Can you imagine burping this crud after you swallowed it? You might as well have a poiurkey or a pasteurky. That's enough, if I keep it up, I won't even want to eat the real thing.

Gobble, gobble...

Don't You Wish You Were Me?

Lewiston, Idaho for the next two days, don't you wish you were me? Actually, it's not quite as bad as it looks here, but it's close. After all, if it was good enough for Lewis and Clark, it's good enough for me (as long as I have all the modern conveniences). I think they now have more than one taxi and I think they have a 2 or 3 floor hotel, these are a big deal you know. But if you're there with people you like, it doesn't really matter where you are, right? Alright, enough of that.

I'm having writer's block, I guess I've gotten out of the habit I've been so busy with work and 80 year birthday parties and visiting kids & grands and shopping and preparing for the war with Guilder, that I'm way out of practice. Sometimes it's like your brain simply takes a vacation without any notice whatsoever, there's just nothing there but blank space, a gaping hole, an empty void, a big zero, zilch, nada, free and clear.

I talked to two different reporters this morning and it's like they sucked all the grey matter out of my head and there's nothing left to put together two coherent thoughts. For that matter, it never slowed down the entire day.

Now that I think about it, a day on planes tomorrow may be a blessing in disguise, even if it is going to Lewiston, land of the puffed up national guard guys in fatigues who search every blessed buisness person who goes through their puny little airport and ridiculously tight security. Honestly, if you have a filling in your head or you swallowed a bobby pin you'll set it off. After all, we all know how detrimental Lewiston is to our national security and to our major government secrets. Honestly! I guess it makes them feel all important. I do know you don't dare laugh, as most are wont to do, because they carry automatic weapons. Yes, I'm serious, these guys are so ridiculous and far out they're scary.

You couple all this with the fact that it takes 12 hours to get there and back and you ask yourself, just why are you going again? I'm part of a team and the team is going so I've got to be a team player, hold up my end, play my part, one for all and all for one, we're in this together, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah (you need to say that part out loud because it's just the right number of blahs).

OK, I think you have to admit that if your last post sucked rope, this one sucks nuclear waste. I promise to do better next time but it will be a few days. Maybe I can reenergize before then...something needs to happen. Otherwise, I have no doubt I'll be deblogged, you know voted off the blog by all the clever, brainy, eloquent, artful, literary, zany, actual writer types.

Mahalo

Drunken Orange?

So, I type in drunken orange and this is one of the images I get on google. I love the internet. It shouldn't be called internet, it should be called random and freaky. If the guy is drunk you can't tell (ignoring the fact that he is wearing a longhorn steer hat) and he isn't orange and he isn't eating an orange so how does this happen, I ask you? Anyway, back to the point. We were invited to our kids for dinner tonight and for dessert we were served drunken oranges; I'm not sure but I think this may be my new favorite dessert. It was light and heavenly and just slightly wicked with the little bit of liquour. And I'm relatively certain this guy doesn't get it. More than that, he really doesn't belong on this page but that's why he's here.

Anyway, to do my famous subject jumping thing, I wonder how long we'll have to wait to see the Dems take some action, after the beginning of the year I mean. It better be good considering what it has taken to get them there. I wonder how many more of B's cabinet will quit before then. Quite the revolving door. Getting kind of drafty in the White House these days. Can't figure out who's going and who's coming or were they going again? I'll be glad when this era is over, our eyes can't get any blacker. I am really curious to see if Obama is ready for the big one in 2 more years. He's a pretty dynamic speaker, but does he have results to back it up? That I don't know.

I know from the time we have spent abroad that the rest of the world is saying, "It's about time!" They really shake their heads at our screwed up political machine. We are way too visible to make such big and obvious mistakes. Let's not do it again, okay?

Nighty night!

Flying Time

Time. Occasionally, you could say it's a four letter word. It flies when you need more of it and drags when you actually want it to pass faster. You can't see it, taste it, feel it or smell it but you sure can miss it, crave it, wish for it, blame it, dwell on it, count it, curse it as well as a myriad of other time-directed emotions.

I wonder if the Guiness World Book of Records has ever recorded who has had the most 29th birthdays? That seems to be the aspect of time that is most offputting. Although I don't understand anyone who doesn't want to celebrate their birthday, after all, that is the ONLY day in the year that is yours and yours alone. Who in the world wants to pass up a party? Not me, give me a reason to celebrate and I'm on it.

Speaking of time, I have a great deal of work to do and it's already 9:00. Hmm, I think I need to cut this one short. Let's see, this would fall into the category of need more time! A demain?

The Good 'Ol Days

I think I mentioned a few weeks back that I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Where is Nixon when we need him?" Now, if the public is saying that Nixon is preferable to our current president, we are truly at an all time low. Actually "Tricky Dick" is what he was so fondly called by Laugh-In and others.

I have finally voted and Tuesday is it anyway so at last we can dispense with the incessant political campaign rhetoric. And no, I won't miss it. Will you?

But this isn't only happening at a national level, in the local paper today there was a large photograph of our infamous governor of the 70's. Again, they were hearkening back to the good old days when we had a governor who stood for something and actually got things done. There seems to be some fear of doing that these days.

I am so frustrated, the Christmas push has already begun. It started before Halloween in some stores. Not only is it confusing to kids, candy or Santa Claus, turkeys or stockings, the stress/pressure is starting a full month earlier than it should. It's way too easy to get caught up in the momentum. Got to keep control, it's tough though when you have so many great ideas! I promise to keep myself in check, no not to write a check, to keep myself in check. After all, I'm definitely not one of the new millionaires being added to the tally on the Megabucks billboard. More's the pity...

BAWTH

I'm watching Samantha Brown (TC) wander around Bawth (Bath), England. Her show brings back some great memories of our time there a couple of years ago. She appears to be having similar weather too, a little rain and a little sun. Although she is staying in a castle, we were in a B&B, pretty close don't you think?

She didn't mention it on the show but the pipes that convey the 117 degree mineral water to this main pool are still the original lead pipes constructed by the Romans 2,000 years ago. Can you think of anything built in the last 100 years that will come close to lasting for the next 2,000 years? No, me neither.

Now, she is in the Cotswalds, another wonderful area we visited. In fact, that was where we stayed at Chipping Camden and ate Johnny Depp's dessert at the Red Lion Inn. We also saw scads of thatched roofs, so is she.

So, now she is sitting, having high tea saying that England is where all new European travelers should start, she calls it European lite. I guess she's right. It's a good start. But don't think the Brits are going to be impressed by the fact that you're American. In fact, you will get the opposite reaction, you Yankee upstarts you. Nothing you do or say is remotely quaint.

Now she is in Zurich so I will cease to comment since I didn't share this experience. And I never will because I have no interest or money that would take me there. Especially to buy the $142,000 Rolex watch covered in diamonds and emeralds, waterproof yet. Besides, it looks very cold and very wet there, even more so than England. Au revoir...

Now this is useless...

At least you can eat the meat. You have to admit, the footballs are cute in a very sick sort of way, this is simply strange and scary. So, I win, I win, I win!

Snicker, snicker...:)