Frogs' Legs Aren't Funny

The download of my daily (almost) thoughts and ruminations.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Accidental Millionaires

In this day and age, how exactly does a bank, or more precisely 
a person at a bank make this caliber of a mistake?  You would think
their systems would identify an error of this magnitude with many
too many zeroes immediately.

However, on or about May 5, the bank erroneously put NZ$10 million 
($6.1 million) into their bank account.

This gas station owner had requested NZ$10,000 but
this is what he got.  The guy and his girlfriend in question are
nowhere to be found 24 hours later although they are now 
hot on their trail from New Zealand to Hong Kong where Interpol
(I love that name, it feels so Bondish) is on the case.
  
Somehow I doubt they will come to a good and happy end.  This is not the stuff fairly tales are made of.  Although D.B. Cooper is still on the loose today.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Stroller Phobia


Today was spent at the zoo, well at least the morning was, with my daughter and my grandkids and about 10,000 other people.  

It reminded me distinctly of Disneyland
where everytime you turned around you
were either tripping over a stroller or it was running over you.
Except that this time I was pushing one too.  Well, there's just
no getting around it, you can't carry the kids the whole time and
they can't walk so there you are.  It's a grand time regardless.

Not only were strollers running amok, at least 10-20 schools decided this was a great day for a field trip so there were buses backed up as far as the eye could see and kids to match, with the obligatory volunteer field trip parents running alongside. It was funny watching the faces of some of those folks, especially the men.  You could tell they wouldn't be signing up for such frivolity again any time soon.

Construction was everywhere.  There were as many animals "put away" as there were out for our viewing pleasure.  You know it's a deceiving place, it doesn't seem to me to be big enough to hold all those animals inside somewhere.  Maybe they have underground tunnels I don't know about, that would explain some things.  

It's interesting how so many of the touristy sites have construction "scaffolding" blocking the  view of exactly what you came to see when you go to see it.  The same thing was true in Paris, the same thing was true in London, the same thing was true in Washington, D.C. Is this another sign of the bad air we're breathing that it's destroying the exterior of all these buildings?  

In the case of many parts of this zoo, it's more that lots of these exhibits were 30 or even 40 years old.  It's probably better that they get them remodeled and updated now than let them go 
until the animals decide to leave through the cracks and breaks
themselves.  

Yah, much better.




Monday, May 18, 2009

Life in the Turn Lane

All I mean is that change has become a constant, turning this way and that without any steady state.  You not only can't work up any speed, you can't get your bearings, you can't get where you're going and you most certainly can't stop to enjoy the scenery because of all the constant turning and changing. 

Don't get me wrong, I love change but not change for change's sake.  I can handle a change made for a good, well-thought-out reason with established objectives and measurements of success in place, you know, positive change; I'm totally there.  

But change due to inability to make a decision, change because of poorly
 executed processes or projects, change resulting from the same mistakes that are made again and again, change because people are stupid or change to save money in the short term when it will inevitably cause business failure in the long term are not only a waste of time and money, inefficient and demoralizing, they are a waste of that chunk of your life.  

I'm really tired of wasting my life, how about you?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Unnatural Disaster

If there were a huge earthquake or F5 tornado or giant tsunami occurring as we speak, would the fact that Notre Dame is bequeathing an honorary doctorate degree on President Obama because he was invited to provide their commencement address dominate the headline news?  I love the arguments that his support of abortion is the sole issue.  The religious right's support of capital punishment and the Iraq war don't count as throwing life away, only this particular issue matters. Once someone is born, apparently then that life becomes unimportant in the grand Catholic scheme of things.   This kind of stuff simply disenfranchises me even more from organized religion.  How is this extreme stand any different than the crap espoused by the Limbaughs of the world?

I think the population's prevailing sheepish nature simply requires some passionate issue to grab hold of. That way, they don't need to have good reasons for their beliefs, all they have to say is my church told me so.   That kind of blind following just baffles and angers me.  It's lazy, it's irresponsible, it represents a crowd mentality; this inclination is the kind of condition that has gotten people stoned or crucified in some other way for stupid reasons throughout history.  Our lack of tolerance, our lack of support for open dialogue and our lack of respect for all opinions will be our downfall.

If you haven't heard it, listen to the President of Notre Dame's speech at their commencement, then listen to Obama;

all we need is a world of people just like them.





Saturday, May 16, 2009

Alternative Lives


G'ma Crys is watching "Becoming Jane".  I'm not really watching but it is making me especially thankful that I was not alive during that era. 

Women had no opinions that mattered, they had no viewpoints they could share without censure, if they wrote a book, they had to use a male pen  
name, had no professional value beyond embroidery or reading aloud 
or playing piano or singing skills, oh, and let's not forget, procreating,
they had to follow archaic rules of etiquette, they frequently had to
settle for loveless marriages which they were stuck in for eternity, 
or I'm sure it seemed like it anyway.

They were not allowed to inherit any property or money, they had to wear breathtaking clothes (literally), and of course, there were the many modes of discomfort they 
dealt with on a daily basis, no central heating or cooling, no vehicle shocks or springs to speak of and horsehair cushions (have you ever sat on one?).

I think it's one of those eras that generally appears like it must have been very romantic and perfect in a movie or in a television program, but reality 
was truly the opposite, as I've just stated.  

Although if you think about it, there were definitely some high points to living in that era as well. Many fewer extinct species, much less air pollution, no preservatives in the food, few or no prescription drugs introducing potentially lethal chemicals into their bodies, no 50-60 hour work weeks (unless you were a child of course), no styrofoam or other non-biodegradable substances, fully functional rainforests, no polluted water (if you don't count human waste) 
and no real ability to travel great distances unless you had lots and lots of time and the means to do it.

Still, Jane Austen with her superlative skill at illustrating the most
fascinating aspects of everyday life, rocks! 

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Life Is Just a Chair of Bowlies

The weekend is only part of a day away, the weather is going to get up into the 80's and we'll be at the beach, what could be better?  

Well, okay, the lottery would be good, immediately 
followed by complete and total retirement, immediately 
followed by a National Geographic Expedition to The Galapagos Islands and eventually to Australia & New 
Zealand and finally around the Greek Islands on a small sailing ship, immediately followed by taking my parents on a cruise, immediately followed by taking all my kids on a trip they could actually each agree to, followed by paying off everything including the house, followed by giving something really helpful and substantial to The Women's Shelter I support, followed by TAKING CARE OF GRANDKIDS before they get into school and have better things to do than spend time with Grammie!  

Oh, and I'd finally take Mike to Washington, D. C., and I'd finally go to NYC with someone who actually wanted to go, probably one of the kids or a 
girlfriend.  It's fun to think the world would be my oyster but I have no doubt there would be as many difficulties to deal with as there would be wonderful opportunities.

I can always dream though, can't I, and obviously my dreams immediately expand exponentially once I get started.  However, I maintain imagination is healthy so that means I'm in tip top shape.




















Monday, May 11, 2009

Who Needs A War?

I think you can safely say we've overstayed our time in Iraq when our guys begin shooting each other instead of the "enemy".  I loved the line in the article that said the soldiers on the base typically carry their weapons with them but they're not loaded...right.  Tell that to the five dead soldiers who were standing in line at a clinic for help with relieving their stress.  

On a happier note, baby boy specifically requested that Grammie learn the Linus and Lucy theme song aka the Peanuts theme song with that goofy kind of rhythm.  He's decided he wants to hear me play it on the piano.  Well, after purchasing a copy of the sheet music today, this will be a project alright.  But George Winston made it look so simple!  It's a good thing he's worth it.

I have a dried up brain tonight so I'm going to work out now.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Hand Out



In celebration of Kara's 359th post (how did 
you figure that out, count them individually - 
you just don't have enough to do), I am observing 
that money may not buy happiness but it certainly
keeps the non-profits away from your door.  

This year, more than any other I can remember, every non-profit organization under the sun is asking for money.  What I can't figure out is how they can afford to send all these giveaways to 
everyone in the world or at least to all those on their lengthy, ill-begotten lists.  

Between postage and the cost of producing the note cards, the calendars, the memo pads, the return address labels, etc., it seems the guilt they hope to impose isn't going to be sufficient to 
prevent most people from simply using what they send and throwing the rest away.  Hence they're out the production overhead and with no contributions, they're now in the hole.  

I'm the perfect case in point, I have a drawer full of return address labels from the March of Dimes, Easter Seals, The American Heart Association, The Red Cross, the Save the Turtle Society (just kidding but barely), and I'm relatively certain I didn't donate anything to any of them.  I suppose I could just toss them when they come but that seems wasteful.  I guess the main question is do we feel more guilty keeping something we don't "pay" for or for throwing away something that's perfectly good.  Yet another moral dilemma.  

Time to practice.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Facebook, Flickr or Forget It?

With all that we try to cram into our lives, whose bright idea was it to invent these on-line time consumers that in essence steal from everything else.  Someone needs to write about chat room etiquette, for instance.  It's like being on the phone with an elderly relative who has nothing better to do than talk and talk and you've got twenty different directions  
pulling at you.  You try to sign off and they have just one more thing to say, then just one more, then just one more, then someone else pings you...agh!  



The word ping has taken on a whole new meaning in the 21st century. Ping means connection, it means attention grabber, it means immediate conveyer of information, it means, 

"Get me outta here!"  Pinging turns to obsession which turns to a fat butt because you never leave your chair anymore.  Or, it leads to thumb surgery because you can't stop keying for even a minute or you might miss something.  I wonder if there have been any traffic casualties yet due to texting airheaditis or dementia?

I suppose this just makes me sound like an old fogie but I think there is so much more to do than plant yourself in front of some screen or other.  We are rapidly transitioning from couch potatoes to messaging maniacs (a person characterized by an inordinate or ungovernable enthusiasm for something), people who no longer have the ability to disconnect.

So here I exit, stage left.

On that 

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Dom Dom Dom Dom

This has to be fast but I'm just a little bit sad about Dom DeLuise dying.  He was one of those actors or comedians who always seemed to be on the periphery.  I don't know that you could say he ever made it to the big time, he certainly wasn't ever the "star or headliner" of any movie.  

In fact, if it hadn't been for the scads of television variety shows that were on for years, no one ever would have heard of him or any of the other comedic "B" and "C" talents.  


It does appear that he went by way of Kevin Duckworth, to the tune of carrying an extra 200-300 pounds.  Is too much food or booze really worth giving up years of your life for?


Some other names that come to mind who fell into this entertainment 
category are Tim Conway, Harvey Korman, Arte Johnson, Ruth Buzze, Wally Cox, Joanne Worley, Buddy Hackett, Paul Lynde, and the list goes on (what were the names of all those people who use to sit in the Hollywood Squares for instance?).  But to give them their due, they found a niche and probably did well without all the paparazzi living in their faces as they do with those who are wildly successful. 

So, I guess success can be measured in different ways.  There are probably plenty of superstars who would gladly sell a piece of their stardom for a little privacy, which is now completely out of their reach.  I'll take my lack of notoriety anytime.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

What about the Red-Knot?


The close interconnectivity between species, between humans and other species and between humans and other humans has been demonstrated and proven again and again.  My case in point speaks to the reliance of the red-knot migratory bird on the horseshoe crab.  

Until today, I didn't know this species of crab has actually survived and
thrived for hundreds of millions of years.  While the dinosaurs were falling by the wayside, through ice ages, asteroids and all manner of other natural disasters, the horseshoe crab survived and eventually established a co-dependency with the red-knot.  

The red-knot is a bird that migrates from the artic all the way to Tierra del Fuego, Chile every year.  Halfway there, they stop along the eastern seaboard for a few weeks where they feed on horseshoe crab eggs they have been able to locate and reach from the surface.  This sustenance alone provides them with the stamina and energy to continue the rest of their flight to Chile where their breeding grounds beckon them.

Rather than adversely impacting the horseshoe crab population, this kept them at a manageable level and the interdependcy created a win-win for both species.  Then, beginning in the '90's, "man" enters the picture in his typical destructive, self-absorbed with no concern about impact, manner and begins to harvest thousands of crabs at a time for eel bait.  Specifically, he decided it's the female crabs who are most tasty, severly limiting future egg production after years and years of this behavior.

This year for the first time, when researchers gathered in TdF to perform their annual census, there were no red-knots to be seen, not one.  This is after counting only 80,000 last year, with the understanding that only 90,000 existed in the world in total.  
The obvious concern is that yet another species has become extinct.


It would appear that man has been able in about 15 years to do what the natural elements of the world have not in hundreds of millions of years, to begin to exterminate the horseshoe crab, thereby driving the red-knots into extinction.  The dominos just continue to fall.