The View From The Inside

Inside where, you ask? The Emergency Room, I say. I'm becoming quite uncomfortably familiar with Emergency Rooms these days. If it's not one parent, it's another or if it's not one child, it's another. We'll have to head back to the hospital once the surgeon finishes with the surgery he is currently performing so we can talk to him to find out exactly what he will be doing for and to M's mom and when. Now that she has been admitted, we decided to take a couple of hours to gather her stuff from her apartment that she'll need and get a few things done here.

The more time I spend in a hospital environment, the more I have to be impressed with the fact there are people (strangers) who are willing to deal with all the ugliness of the health issues for me and for those I love.

Just think about the fact that on any given shift a CNA or a Nurse Practioner or an RN or an MD hear a litany of complaints, many of which come from people who I'm sure think they are in more pain than anyone else. Or how many bedpans they have to deal with or how many IV's they have to start or how many times they have to try to bring someone back from the dead? Through it all they have to remain composed, empathetic but not get emotionally involved, professional but caring; it's quite the balance. You don't see me raising my hand, that's for sure.

I guess what I'm trying to say is we're fortunate we have people in this world who are willing to give of themselves to care for others, not just here in nice clean and efficient hospitals but abroad in places like Haiti and Southeast Asia where there is nothing clean or efficient about the environment and they actually put themselves in jeopardy.

When I step back to think about it, I feel small, inconsequential and very selfish. Regardless, I still don't think I could do it. I can't even watch the Special Olympics without crying.